Managing Aging Parents – Create Purpose

Apr 11

My Mom, G-d rest her soul, unfortunately was a bit of a downer.

We were very close but somehow she always seemed to see the clouds in the sky. . . Challenging childhood that she never seemed to fully get past I suppose.

She was quite accomplished as a Social Worker – a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). She was responsible for Social Service in a private nursing home in Long Island, New York. It was a high-powered job, a challenging patient base, fast-paced and high-stress. Regularly, Mom complained about the nursing home – probably to vent and relieve her frustration but who knows. Couldn’t blame her though.

She was very talented and accomplished. We were proud of her.

Unfortunately, in 2010 Mom got cancer – Multiple Myeloma. A nasty form of cancer although aren’t they all.

She retired from the nursing home and got the treatment she needed. Thankfully, she went into remission.

Then she spent her most of her days in her bathrobe reading books and watching TV.

After some weeks, my brother and I could see the deterioration. She just wasn’t quite as sharp as she used to be. She wasn’t as ‘crisp’.

Putting aside the cancer and the toll the treatment probably took on her, she was a bit slow. Slightly disjointed.

Separately, my brother and I told Mom to get out of the house, find something productive to do.

Mom landed a volunteer position with a Community Center a few miles up the road from her apartment. She led programs for senior citizens, where she was able to use her skills and training. Perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.

A couple of months in, they gave her a part-time job – four days a week, four hours a day. Thankfully, Mom didn’t need the money but they paid her $20 per hour.

More importantly, she had a routine and a purpose!

At least on those four days – every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday – Mom had to get up, shower, get dressed and get out of the house, on time. What’s more, she socialized with people!

She came back to life.

A month or two later, Mom started to complain about the Community Center. My brother and I told her that this was a hobby and she should enjoy the ride. But she couldn’t.

Mom was ‘back’!

Either way, this illustrated the importance of aging parents and grandparents staying engaged, maintaining a routine, socializing with people and feeling useful!

My Mom and my former in laws took great joy in taking care of my children. They visited often – sometimes too often for my liking but I believe in family! That gave them a purpose.

My in-laws lived near Princeton University and audited a few classes every year. They kept learning and engaged with younger people. Although I don’t think they wrote any papers or took any exams. They thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s important to keep your mind going.

Work with your aging parents and grandparents and create a plan and put it into action.

Your aging parents and grandparents will thank you and you’ll enjoy your days with them.

See you next week.

Arthur V.

Special resources to help you organize your parents’ finances:

Budget and Grow Rich® comprehensive personal budgeting guide – click here.

Disclaimer: OH and Please Remember, we are Not financial advisors, financial planners, attorneys or accountants and are Not providing any specific financial, tax or legal advice here. Be sure to conduct your own due diligence and consult your own professional advisors to get sound professional advice that’s specific to your financial and personal circumstances, risk tolerance, time horizon and investment goals and objectives among other key factors!